this is another letter of complaint from my website of (homo)sexual assault that is
WWW.JAGGEDLITTLEDYL.COM and WWW.ANTI-GAY.COM
"When I'm hungry, I eat. When I'm thirsty, I drink. When I feel like saying something, I say it." - Madonna
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to duquesne university, regarding ryan miner:

listen, the next time you reprimand someone for disrespecting gay "men"...why don't you reprimand gay "men" for disrespecting themselves with their whole "i'm not man enough to be my man" mentality. now, if you wanna believe there's nothing detrimental to a masculine soul about finding security, fulfillment and something excitably taboo in another one, it's your loss...but don't push your gay lack of esteem onto your students. gay "men" are so entertained when they have their hands on private parts of masculinity, it's like they just bought it at some kind of curiosity shop.

let me share with you a letter i wrote in response to chastity bono's gender-dysfunction. maybe duquesne university will stop tolerating and promoting gender-dysfunction. here follow the letter:

gender is reality. gender is as obvious an identifier as race is - changing one's gender should be regarded as ludicrous an idea as changing one's race (though michael jackson seemed to have done both). change your mind before you go to the extreme of changing your gender - it's nothing but your mind that's telling you that your body is a mistake. change your mind.

homosexuality is gender-dysfunction. this should be realized. a national tolerance of gender-dysfunction is telling children that it's okay to be mediocre. it was the summer of 1991 - hunterdon county, new jersey - i was going to see "terminator 2" with someone named josh lane - we never saw it because i was expressing my awe of his manliness and he was telling me to love myself and not to see him as the best but to become the best. i thought he was being intolerant, so i felt rejected and wanted to go home. i'd always felt mediocre, a small masculine slight, i wanted someone to accept me for it. i don't know if i'd have gone to a "gay pride" parade if i had the chance, but that's neither here nor there.

now, whether her gender-curiosity is of the masculine gender or the feminine, if it's being embraced by society that chastity bono got a sex change because she always thought that she had the wrong body, aren't people admitting a gender-identity issue? it is an issue when one doesn't feel like a female but is undeniably female. don't people realize that such issues and feelings can only come into being once a person has been around other people long enough to have come to define themselves as a specific gender in relation to the world and genders around them? how do you know you have the wrong body if you haven't been exposed to anything but your body? how do you know that there are two types of bodies? how do you come out of the womb with any information of the world when you've had no information to process while in the womb, as if a fetus is advanced enough to process information.

i was in high school and josh was the epitome of the word "man". i arrived at that conclusion through all the years i had lived, all the years i had regarded athletes as "real men," all the years i felt outcasted from the masculine gender. i had never wanted a sex change, but i sure did not feel like a "real man" and i did not feel comfortable calling myself a man when all these better men were around. i swam with my shirt on, i didn't feel man enough to take it off. i thought that tank-tops didn't belong on me because i was skinny and weak. this probably has nothing to do with any self-discontentment i felt, but i was an actor in high school - happy and comfortable to become someone else.

my lackluster sense of self complemented the lackluster specimen of manhood that i was, but maybe if i'd have gone to a "gay pride" parade then i would have been taught to be proud without having any justifiable reason to be proud of myself. if i learned how to love myself in spite of everything i wanted to change about myself, life would have been much easier and i wouldn't have had to spend so much time lifting weights and improving myself.

there is a quote i came up with before 1996, i tested it in 1996 on stevanne lusk who was behind a place called "the center for neuro-rehab" in annapolis. evita was playing at the mall during the time i was in annapolis and i loved musical theatre, in case you have any doubts of my being a legitimate homosexual after writing a letter like this.

here's the quote: "if you wanna believe there's nothing detrimental to a masculine soul about finding security, fulfillment and something excitably taboo in another one, it's your loss"

i was humping the mattress yet again this morning - do you know the stuff that is in gay porn? "men" sniffing their own armpits , "men" sniffing others' armpits, "men" with their faces wedged inside ass-cracks, "men" with their hands up someone's rear-end - when i see stuff like this i picture all these question marks flying around the heads of the curious little masculine slights that simply know themselves as "gay".

"We shoulda known you question your manhood when we saw you jerking it like you just bought it at some curiosity shop," from my first screenplay, andy's beach, (c) 1996.

why don't boys who were "born straight" come out of mama's vagina with a hard-on? on second thought, why did they even come out of mama's vagina - they're soon going to be trying to re-enter a vagina with either their fingers, tongues or dicks. one would think that being inside of a vagina would be paradise for a boy who was "born straight". on second thought, maybe newborn boys don't know anything about the world around them and maybe it'll take years to gain enough knowledge of the world (and the genders) around them to regard the vagina as special and interesting.

madonna's "justify my love" was popular in late 1990, i remember it well - i was a junior in high school. paula abdul's "opposites attract" was popular in early 1990, i remember it well - i was a sophomore. let me take a line from my aforementioned screenplay: " i'm saying that opposites attract, be that man/woman, confident man/insecure man, or even half-the-woman/epitome of 'woman'! 'opposites' is what you feel inside about yourself, it's not strictly male or female on the outside! i'm jealous, therefore i lust! i'm jealous of your body like you're jealous of saxy's. i need a man in my life for the same reason you need a woman, i feel left out!"

i therefore can understand how chastity bono came to the conclusion that she felt like she should be a man. it's cross-eyed gender-dysfunction. josh told me to change myself so that i'd love myself, he was talking about my becoming the best instead of fawning over supreme masculine images. i guess one could argue that going to a doctor to change one's gender is the same as going to a gym to change one's musculature, which brings to mind another line from my screenplay: "It works for you, huh, treating your gender like its presence on your body is some big mistake?". gender is reality - gender is as obvious as race is - changing one's gender should be regarded as ludicrous an idea as changing one's race (though michael jackson seemed to have done both). change your mind before you go to the extreme of changing your gender, it's nothing but your mind that's telling you that your body is a mistake.

gender is self, gender is reality, the way anyone thinks or feels about themselves is arrived at by - let's just say that i wouldn't have felt like a masculine slight as a boy if i was not always picked last for teams in gym class. if girls were fawning over me rather than over athletes, i probably would have been a tad more self-confident. if i wasn't only as strong as a girl, maybe i'd have had some masculine self-worth. maybe masculine self-worth is what josh was trying to give me when he told me to change myself to become the best. maybe masculine self-worth is why i enjoy gawking at images of "men" having sex as i'm humping my mattress, when the reality of having sex with anything but a masculine image keeps me from having sex with men.

maybe the absence of self-respect and masculine self-worth that i felt as a boy would have done more than bring about a lust for men. maybe it would have led me to believe that i was not supposed to be male, that i was a female trapped in a male's body. let me conclude by saying that before there is gender-reassignment surgery in anyone's life, before anyone wants to do away with their gender, there is a certain degree of self-hatred. change your mind.

dylan terreri, i
www.jaggedlittledyl.com, LLC

"When I'm hungry, I eat. When I'm thirsty, I drink. When I feel like saying something, I say it." - Madonna